just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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