Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize