I am puke
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize