he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
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Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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