I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
