I'm pants shitting drunk right now
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
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I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
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Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
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