hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Someone stole a lamp last night.