for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz