The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL