I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.