I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes