I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??