That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Its about making memories worth repressing
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
