bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize