For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
