my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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