I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
porn star boner night. come get it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
