why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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