We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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