Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
