just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
