I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
