the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
