Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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