The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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