I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
