I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
