i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
