Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
