Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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