i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
