I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
