im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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