return my video game
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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