So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
