guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
