What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
