Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
