This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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