Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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