You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
