the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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