just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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