So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She bit a glass in half.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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