Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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