You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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