I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
