I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
