Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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