I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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