If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm at about main and main street
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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