Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
honey bunches of taint.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
