best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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