how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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