There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
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whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
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at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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