god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
