I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
