Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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