Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
