I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
and she was petting her beer can
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
