Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
