walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So here I am, sexting at work.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
