we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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