She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There's always time for handjobs
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
