thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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