Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
