thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
did you just send me my own nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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